Should boys play with dolls?
We woke up this morning and my husband said he wanted to organize and cleanup the garage. We have a doll in the garage that was bought a year ago as gift for a friend’s daughter but never made it to their home. My husband said he could gift it to another friend’s daughter living nearby. Me being me, I said I don’t really like giving dolls to girls because thats’ what they get all the time, a doll, a pink top, makeup. I said my son likes dolls too, we can give it to him. We talked more, he said we should be nurturing motherly qualities in girls so the doll might be a good gift for girls. I went on a rant on this.
Why should we nurture motherly qualities in girls, who came up with motherly qualities for girls and not for boys. My son loves pink and purple but his dad and his granddad have told him that those are colors for girls not for boys so now he says he doesn’t like those colors but he still does. I went to a nail salon to get waxing done, yea not nails. I have never gotten nails done, I don’t like nail paint, it makes me puke, btw I am a girl. My son wanted to have his nails painted so I asked the lady in salon if they could paint his nails, they laughed but said that they would. Then I asked my son which color he would like and he selected sparkling pink and I asked the lady to use the color he selected. The lady kept insisting that we pick blue for him. I asked my son again, if he wants blue nail paint, he said he wanted the sparkling pink so I told the lady to use pink. She rolled her eyes and painted his nails pink. My son as much as he loves playing with cars, he loves playing with cooking utensils too, he always in the kitchen trying to make his own dough and cook in his tiny pots with me.
My husband is an amazing guy who is always open to listening and changing his opinion based on logic. He said that its our duty to guide the kids in right direction, which I agree with. To me telling a kid that pink is not for him, or dolls are not for him is not the kind of guidance I want to provide or should be providing. I would definitely interject if he wanted to get a permanent tattoo, wanted to have piercing or any other permanent changes that can’t be reverted. Those decisions will be made by him when he is an adult. But its up to my son to decide what colors he likes, what toys he wants to play with and if he wants to paint his nail.
I gave my own example to my husband. I grew up like a boy, I dressed up like a boy, I talked like a boy, I hung up with boys. I don’t like makeup, I don’t like nail polish, I dont like pink or purple colors. My favorite colors are Blue, Black and Dark Brown. Many folks told my dad as I was growing up, your girl behaves like a boy. My father never came and told me that I should behave like a girl, dress up like a girl or talk like a girl. He let me be who I wanted to be. When I moved to live with Alok Saxena, person who changed my life. He liked me as I was, he liked my short hair and everything about me. He never said that I should behave like a girl. Does not behaving like a “Girl” made me a boy? No it didn’t. Once I started working I had my own realization at my own time that, I want to talk like a girl, I want to dress up more like a girl (because I thought the boys didn’t pay me attention when I dressed up like a boy). I changed when I wanted to, not because anyone told me to behave like a girl. My husband loved the example I gave him about myself growing the way I did and why I want my son to grow up the way he feels comfortable. There is no science to how girls should behave, dress up or the kind of toys they play with. Yes, in more cases they have a preference but it does not apply to everyone, then we should we do we force these thoughts on all the kids. Why do we pollute their mind with our way of thinking when they are still children instead of letting them form those ideas on their own. I grew up to be who I am, and I am proud of the person I have become because my dad, Alok sir who took care of me growing up let me be who I wanted to be. I am strong because they let me decide my way of living and thinking.
Let your kids be who they wan’t to be, let them formulate their own ideas, become the unique person they are born to be. Help them shine more.
